I Love You...Goodbye
by anime mistress
Summary: This was my first fic ever and it didn't go so well so I updated it...well, it's a Taiora. Kind of dark though but hope you like it. Please R/R!


Disclaimer: Okay, this fic is based on the digimon show I watched last Saturday. You know, the   
sad one where Sora said she was going to give those "special" cookies to Matt, and when Tai asked   
her if she had anyone to go with at Matt's concert but she said she wanted to be free in case   
Matt...forget it. I just hate it. I support Taiora 101%. Anyways, this is based on that. It's   
going to be sad because...well...I just don't want to write anything so "happy" or "giddy" or   
anything...I'm just not in the mood. I probably won't get much from this story but...I write   
because I love to.  
  
  
  
I Love You...Good-bye  
  
  
I never knew a stupid crush would hurt me...if it were a stupid crush. I just couldn't believe   
why she chose him over me. Did he ever comfort her when she was feeling down? Did he ever go to   
her tennis practices to cheer her on and tell her to do the best she can? Well...of course she   
chose him over me. I'm not as popular. I'm not as good looking as he is. I don't have some hot   
new band to have girls crawling all over me. Of course Sora would go for the best. And the best   
isn't me. Still, all I want is for her to be happy. Even if I see them at school everyday,   
holding hands, laughing together, giving each other innocent kisses. I get torn apart so much...  
it hurts. I can't even describe what I'm feeling at this moment 'Is that how a crush should feel?  
What is this feeling? Is it love I'm feeling for her?  
  
"Tai! Over here!" a male voice came from behind me. It was Matt.  
I turned and smiled at him. He was my best friend, but I couldn't help feel that little pang of   
envy towards him. He had everything. His parents got back together, his band is there everyday,   
by popular demand, Sora loves him so fucking much, I hate it. I don't want to hurt Matt or Sora,   
so I'm not going to say anything. I'll just keep the fake smile on my face till they get married.  
It's pretty obvious with all the time their spending together. I only wish that she spent her   
time with me instead of my best friend.  
  
"Hey Matt, how's practice?" I asked, putting up the fake smile. Matt beamed so happily at me, I   
wanted to hit him. But, I loved him, he was like a brother to me. He was always there when I   
needed him, and...God this is harder than I thought...  
  
"Practice was great! Sora, as usual was right there, cheering me on, she is the best girlfriend   
anyone can ever ask for, I don't know what I'd do if she went out with anyone else but me!!!   
This is great!!!" Matt said, still beaming at Tai.  
  
"Yeah...great," rub it in, like you always do...NO! Stop it Tai, Matt is your best friend, and   
that's how it'll be, Sora's your best friend and that's all you'll ever be with her, "Sora's a   
great person, you're lucky to have her as a girlfriend..."  
  
"Thanks man, hey look, you wanna go over to that new arcade/fast food restaurant place? I hear   
it's great, Sora was talking about..."  
  
There it is again...the talk with Sora. It's like he can't talk about anything else. Probably how   
I would have acted if she went with me instead of Matt. God, stop it! You never had a chance and   
never will so just stop! Matt's the lucky guy Sora's been waiting for. Even if you'd had that   
stupid crush on her ever since grade school.  
  
"So do you want to come?" Matt asked. I stared at him, I didn't hear a word he said.  
  
"Uh...I can't Matt, I have plans with...this...girl," I lied, bringing my gaze down to my feet.  
  
"A girl huh? Who is she?" Matt asked, nudging me. Man, if he knew I was mad at him, he sure could   
hide it...unless he can't see anything with that blonde shit on his head--stop it!! Matt's your   
best friend, he would never do anything to hurt you and you wouldn't do anything to hurt him in   
any way shape or form.  
  
"Uh...I can't tell you..." because she doesn't exist. Sora's always been my dream girl...no one   
else.  
  
"Come on Tai, you can tell me. Is she cute?"  
  
"She's all right," I replied dully. I think Matt noticed that so he left a couple of seconds   
later, saying "good bye!!!" in the happiest Matt voice he's got.  
  
I'm glad their happy...even if my life's going flat. My mom and dad divorced...for some odd   
reason, they were always happy...Kari moved to Kyoto with mom when she left dad. You know why?   
Because one Saturday, dad had a woman over the house, they did something there that hurt my   
mother more than anything, she yelled at him then brought Kari to Kyoto with her. She told me to   
watch my father because she loved him even after what he did and loved me as well, but wanted me   
to stay here. But I don't respect my father like I did before. He goes out with that woman almost  
everyday. I just hate him for it. Plus, to add to my perfect life, my grades are getting very   
low...just because I'm too fucking sappy and crying my eyes out, never doing any work...just   
bein' sappy...plus, the greatest pain in my life, besides all those put together...Sora...and   
Matt...together...happy.  
  
I don't want to live anymore...really. If I wanted, I could end my life right now. Probably no one   
would even notice. Especially Sora. God I love her. I love her so much it hurts more than suicide   
would hurt.   
  
When I went home, I noticed a peice of paper on the kitchen counter, it said that dad wouldn't be   
home by midnight, he thinks...but still, it gives me a lot of time. I gently picked up the   
switchblade and held it tightly in the palm of my hand. What is there to live for now? I lost it   
all because of stupidity. I probably caused mom and dad to split up. Maybe it was my fault that   
dad did what he did. Maybe it was because of that thing I said about problems with couples. If   
they're much too in love...  
  
I looked outside the window, rain. I remember in some movies I watched, every time something miserable is happening, there's always rain, and the sky's always gray. I smiled, this wouldn't be a bad day. It'll be the beginning of a new life for everyone, and not have the burden of me being around. I walked outside the door, not caring if I left it open and the rain came.   
  
Look at me world! Life is great! My life is great! I'm so fucking happy! God...no I'm not,   
this'll ease my pain though. Really.   
  
I held the knife to my wrist and stared as the red liquid slowly poured down from my arm, mixing   
with the rain, turning it cloudy. Everything was so quiet, all I could hear was the sound of the   
rain pouring down. I lifted my head to the sky and closed my eyes. This is my conclusion.  
  
~*~  
  
"No Matt, I'm sorry, I can't see you anymore. I just...I'm sorry...I just don't love you as much   
as I love him," Sora said, when Matt got into the building, looking into Matt's sad, watering   
blue eyes. She didn't want to hurt him this way...or hurt him at all for that matter, but she   
had to. She had been thinking, and sorting through feelings for most of her and Matt's   
relationship and knew it was just...not what she wanted. And she had to tell Tai now, how she   
felt...it was as if there were no more chances for her to tell him if she didn't tell him now.  
  
"So...you love Tai?" Matt said, swallowing the tears, keeping his pride. Sora stared at him, her   
eyes watering too. She gently touched his face, wiping the single tear on it.  
  
"Shh, Matt. You have someone out there who'll love you as much too. I love you too, but it's just   
not the kind of love I thought I had for you. I'm sorry," she said, walking away. Matt stared   
after her. It was like...a moment ago, he was so happy and nothing could go wrong, and now this.  
  
Sora picked up a pay phone near by and put in the change. She dialed the number and waited for   
an answer...if she ever got any. After a couple of seconds waiting, she hung up and ran to his   
house.  
  
"Tai?" Sora called through Tai's open front door. Everything was a mess.   
  
"Tai! Are you here? Come on, please talk to me!"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
Sora walked out the door, sadly. When she looked up, there was a boy, with large, nappy, brown   
hair, standing at a ledge in the park nearby. Sora squinted to see who the boy was...and what was   
that he was holding?   
  
"What!? TAI!!!" Sora yelled over at the boy. The boy heard her but didn't turn around. Sora ran   
down the stairs toward him.  
  
"Tai! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sora asked, walking slowly towards him.  
  
"Doing what?" Tai asked, looking at her half-heartedly.  
  
"Tai...please...I know what you're gonna do..." Sora pleaded, moving closer to him.  
  
"Sora, whatever you're going to say...it's too late," he said, staring at her, his facial   
expression changing more softly. He held out his wrists to her and smiled softly at her. Sora   
felt her tears come down rapidly as she stared at him helplessly.   
  
"Tai...I love you." she said, her voice cracking. Tai stared at her eyes, even if the rain came   
down this much, he could tell the difference between her tears and the rain. He was too used to   
seeing suffering already.  
  
"No you don't, you love Matt and I want you to be happy with him."  
  
"I do love him but...I don't love him the way I love you...I can't believe I didn't see it   
before, the way you always protect me...in the digiworld, that email you sent me a couple of   
years ago with the "love Tai" and the heart. That time you said you felt my love shine through   
and no one else did. It was always you Tai, I just probably liked Matt because every other girl   
did and I wanted to fit in...instead, I hurt Matt and I hurt you...I'm so sorry, please don't   
leave me!" Sora pleaded, staring at him with so much pain in her eyes it hurt him even more.  
Tai smiled weakly at her, his eyes starting to close, he suddenly fell to the ground, where Sora   
caught him. She cradled him softly, letting her tears fall on him.  
  
"Sora?" Tai whispered quietly.  
  
"Yes Tai?" Sora answered, kissing his forehead.  
  
"I love you too...and I'm sorry."  
  
"For what? You never did anything wrong..."  
  
"I'm sorry because I have to say good-bye."  
  
"Tai...please--"  
  
"No, say good-bye to me or you'll never get to."  
  
"You're not going to di--"  
  
"Yes I am, and it's my fault, I should have been happy for you and lived my life...but I was an   
idiot..." Tai said softly, touching her face, "Good-bye Sora..."  
  
Sora closed her eyes and held tightly onto Tai's dying body. She gently kissed his lips, letting  
her tears fall rapidly down her face. Though the rain came down hard. Her tears could still be told  
apart from the rain.  
  
"I love you...good-bye," she whispered as Tai's hand went limp in hers.  
  
  
  
I know, that was really short. That's because I made this fic before I went to school. But I did   
try to make it good, really. I just felt so sad after what happened it Digimon. Here's the famous  
quote by Tai Kamiya:  
  
"I'll be waiting..."   
  
I can't believe there's a possibility of a Sorato. Haven't you noticed that Matt had never showed he cared about her in ANY of the shows? Wasn't it always Tai? Why couldn't she see that? Damn...I'm really into this aren't I? Anyways, thanks for reading my fic. 


End file.
